So Its been over a year since I have updated. Well I moved out in February of 2015 and Got my own place for me and my boys.. Jarod had moved in with me for a while as well.. Since then a lot has happened to me. For one I got a job at Walmart in October of 2014 and had that job till April 2015, Man was that a great job but I also worked with some of the worst people. I made friends there and also learned a lot about keeping up with bills while I worked there. Then I Lost it in April for being accused of stealing someones wallet that I found under a register and returned to the rightful owner.. She accused me of stealing it and stealing things out of it which I did not do. I had also seen Elijah's dad and told my boss that if he was to come to my register I was going to punch him in the face because he abandoned our son once again. I lost my job then...
Well that summer was hard because I was looking for a job as well as trying to keep up with a house and trying to keep my head above water. Jarod was still living with me when it happened and helped with very little. I was grateful with what he did do.. January of 2015 his dad gave me a car so I could get back and fourth to work so it was nice having a vehicle for a while. In September My cat Chloe died, we still have no clue how she died but she is gone and We miss her dearly to this day. I had gotten another job in September of last year working at the local tomato plant. It was a normal 8-5 job and it was the best place I have ever worked at. I had the most amazing and supportive bosses anyone could ask for.. All I can say to people that are still there is Don't cross them.. They are too great to be fucked with. I didn't loose my job because of the way I worked.. I had to miss days or leave because My son was having issues at school. Yes now we deal with a court system because the Local Alternative school pressed 4 misdemeanor charges against my 9 year old son. Little do they know I'm working on getting more and more information against this school for the court system. The Juvenile officer that we have is horrid.. I can't stand the woman, She refuses to let me pull him out of school and home school him next school year because I feel if I take him out of the situation then I can help him more with the things he needs help with.
So with all of that said, I lost my Car November of last year, Jarod left which was not a bad thing. He had a habit of putting me down and saying it was tough love.. No its Emotional and Verbal abuse, but he refused to see it as that. He doesn't believe in mental illnesses, yet when I told him I was Diagnosed with BPD (Borderline Personality Disorder) Then he said he could see that.. What an Asshole, Then when I finally told him how I really felt it really got to him, He would come home from work and the first place he would go is to his damn computer. Really, That computer was his life, He lived on it more than he can say to anyone else. He says he prefers the real thing, He wouldn't know what the real thing was if it Hit him in the face.. He loves his video games more than he could love anyone else.. Not to mention a girl he never met on the Internet that could have been fake as hell, and she died of cancer which I'm not knocking that.. He just thinks he knows everything had me trying to cook like her and clean like his mom.. If he wanted his mommy he should have went back home.. He did eventually, It totally destroyed me but now I have figured out he was no good for me anyways.
In March I decided to move back in with mom and Bre, I was going to be homeless because I could barely pay my bills and it was better than being on the streets with my kids. So I came back home. It has been pretty good, I was working, getting things back on track and Bam, I lost my job.. Again Not my bosses fault, Corporate came in and was letting me go. Now I am back to square one, No job, No car, No money... I did have a job interview today and I think it went pretty well.. Also about 2 months ago maybe less I started talking to this guy, He has mental health disorders as well and I'm very glad to have met him. He is great and its nice to have someone to talk to that understands you more than other people do. He has become my best friend and my rock in times of need. He says he can't figure out what I see in him, But, He is absolutely amazing and I wouldn't have it any other way. What can I say he is my best friend.
I've been Single, as In not dating for 8 months now, I consider it that because Jarod left the first time in September, when he came back he wasn't the same... I'm doing good considering, and I have someone I can talk to daily that helps me through any BPD moments or depression moments. Things are good for now.. Who knows what the future holds but I plan on grabbing it by the balls and going for it. One day I will be able to handle myself again but for now, I need to focus on getting a new job and taking care of myself and my babies. They are my world, My heart and my soul.. Sami is now 9, Eli is now 7, Kaiden is now 12 and Chris is now 5.. My boys are growing up so fast and I can't figure out where the time is going. Maybe tomorrow will bring new light and hope into my life. For now Goodnight everyone, Hug your babies tight and We will see you soon.
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